Seraphyne

Thats how I feel right now. Like life is passing by me and all i can feel is pain. My heart is broken and also my soul. Someone did the job pretty well.

What i think its interesting in all this is that, every single person that i dated in my life have said the same thing to me. That i broke their hearts and im a bad person. In the end im tired of bringing destruction, caos, tears, blood and pain to others.

How i live only for myself? How i lock myself in a way that no one can access the feelings. Not even myself?

I was talking to my friend a few days ago and i told him that theres something wrong with me. Has to be. Do you know why? Because to tell you the truth i cant leave alone. That is a fact in my life. And the funny part is that i do. My loneliness is huge in this place that makes my soul restless. At the same time, life bring me back to this place where i have anyone. But do i have anyone?

I feel lost inside. Like some huge part of me were taken from me and theres nothing in this world i can do to fix it. What makes people think that they can come to our lives, mess with our heads and then vanish leaving us bleeding inside and WE are the ones that has to colect ourselves all over the floor?

Once i heard in a “Sex and the city” episode that we are romantic-phobics. But at the same time thats exactly what we search in life. Why we contradict ourselves like that?

Im sure this post may sound weird and very confusing but the truth is that i am very.. very confused. Lost … without guidance.

Here looks like someone took my air to breath. How long will i be able to stay here? I believe that only time will tell. I lost my hope on the seek of a nice guy to date. Im sorry if you are one right now reading all this but, its true. Seems like life is making me believe that my destiny is to remain alone and all i do is always fight back. Should i accept the fact that maybe ill never be able to make my own nest? Or i dont have a soulmate at all?

Find someone you love and loves you back seems like and impossible track in life …

If you find yours, stick to it. Remember theres a lot of people that is diying to have what you have. So dont throw it away for stupid reasons … Some people only realize what they have lost when they actually lost it.

This saying will serve for everyone here. Not for me anymore.

Dare to love completely.

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